Friday, February 19, 2010

Took a break for no real reason

I took a break for no real reason. Well, it started because I moved to a place with no internet, but I now have internet and have had it for quite a few days so here's a post.

For my readers (...) I will actually add something soon. Then you will read it and love it and tell me all about it when we go for coffee because I know my fan base only consists of my dad and and few friends...

Sweet post yo!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Games Games Games

Top 5 games I want to play this year:

5. Heavy Rain: So, I know little to nothing about this game and at first it looked bad, but I am slowly starting to really get excited about it. From what I can tell it's a thriller mystery that you are plopped into. What first made me dislike it is there are a lot of times, in all the videos I have seen, that show you having to hit buttons while the character is in the midst of a action scene. Something close to God of War I suppose. I hate that shit but I have come to realize that video games aren't always about game play but story can and should play a great role. I guess the games about some guy trying to get his son back and following multiple characters that are running on parallel tracks all related to that. That seems compelling enough to me. Oh, and I hear there is a stripper scene.

4. Super Street Fighter 4: I love street fighter. LOVE LOVE LOVE. Since renting Street Fighter 4 and playing it at my friends I can't get enough of it. The problem is none of my friends where I live currently like Street Fighter and I don't own any second gen consoles... Well I own a Wii but I don't want to talk about it. Anyway, since i love this game why wouldn't I want to play with more costumes, characters and ultra combos. There really isn't a answer to that question. I'm going to be messing people up all over again with Akuma L, R, and C or should I say LP, LP, ◄, LK, HP! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

3. Diablo 3: I played the first and second in the series, especially the second, and know this one is going to have me stuck in front of my computer for days and days getting all the magic find I can. Blizzard has a way of refining a game until it is as good as it can be without the public's input. They know what makes up a good game and are completely willing to adapt to their demographic. Some people say this is a fault of theirs but I appreciate it. Sure, they might have "ruined" or should i say "changed" things in WoW that I enjoyed but, fuck, if they never changed they would die. That would be a shame to see such a great company, like this, go out of business because people don't like change. Anyway, back to the topic, Diablo looks great and I hear nothing but great things.

2. Metroid: Other M: Now, don't get mad, but i have never beaten Super Metroid, or even really played it. When I heard, though, that the new Metroid was being made by Team Ninja, creators of Ninja Gaiden, I was sold. I really have no information besides that and that's all I need. I have so much faith in Team Ninja that I have put this game as number 2 on my list.

1. Castlevania: Lords of Shadow: At one point, a couple years ago, I decided to play a bunch of Castlevania games. I had heard that they were good so I downloaded some emulators and beat maybe four in a row. Then I played some on my little bros DS. They are great and this new one is 3 effing D. Now, I know what your thinking, "Ya? check out Castlevania for the 64" and i say to you "No, fuck off". I heard it was bad and I don't need to taint my view of Castlevania with that filth. The most promising thing about this new Castlevania and how I can get over it being 3D so fast is that it's being made by Kojima Productions. Ya, those guys that made Metal Gear. What I'm trying to say is I have a boner for vampire killing... Fuck you Twilight!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Area 5's Co-op

This here is my favorite online videogame show... or... er... the only one I watch. I, at one point, use to watch all my reviews at, but one day they gave a great review to a shitty game and I have ceased watching any reviews from there. Actually I think they nominated Star Wars: Force Unleashed for game of the year or something like that and I lost my mind. Anyway, I really enjoy this show because they are honest and just tell you what they think about the games instead of giving some abstract number to define it. The humor is kinda lack luster but the candid conversations they have about what they have played that week and how they haven't put down the latest Castlevania or some indie game that came out for the iPhone remind me of conversations my friends and i have. Probably the biggest thing that i like about them is they focus on if its fun or not. A review they did for Red Faction: Guerrilla is a good example. I never played the game so i don't know how good or not it is but they said all the things about what the disliked and all the things they did liked and finished with something like "but its really fun to knock buildings down". that's all i needed to hear.

Check it out at there website here of there Youtube channel here.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Freelance Whales

I just found this album on my ipod. I had lent it to my friend Robbie because I didn't have a computer to put music on it or even to charge it so I had no use for it. I just got a laptop so I asked for it back only to find that there are a shit load of bands I don't know on it. This is one of them. Freelance Whales. I have been giving most of the bands a chance but this is the first one that sounds great without me listening to them twelve times to get use to the sound. I don't know what that means for their longevity but they sound great right now so... umm... who gives a fuck?

Weathervanes, an album by Freelance Whales. Go find it you lazy assholes. I'm not linking shit.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

The Goon

So I met this girl at the bar and we started talking about comic books. I was telling here how I have been liking Alan Moore lately just like everyone else and she tells me about this comic book The Goon. The next day my friends go out again and I vote not to, I guess she was out and brought the first issue with her for me to borrow.

I read it and it was great. Very facetious but still playful. My friend Brett doesn't like characters like this but I'm in love with them. The characters i mean are the ones with no rivals. That's who The Goon is, a man with no rival. He walks into a room of baddies and shit kicks them until they are bloodied and dead and then he walks out while his friend and partner Franky says something sly. its almost like watching a Adam West's batman episode but with mutants, zombies, ghosts, monsters, demons and Santa Claus.

I have a feeling I will soon have read all of these comics and be left wanting more.


My friend and I were talking and he brought up that he hates when people use the expression "no homo". I had no idea what he was talking about but I'm sure I agreed with something like "ya, those fucking queers". He went on to tell me that it's a rap thing and that he doesn't like that people are using it candidly. To me, it seems like a ridiculous expression and not nearly as funny as yelling "I'm not gay!" but I guess he can be mad at whatever he likes, hes a big boy. I heard the expression again when I was playing dodge ball and some guy was talking about doing some sexual act to another guy. This intrigued me because up until that point I figured it was potential that my friend (who we will call Murphy because I'm sick of typing "my friend") made the whole thing up. I asked my other friend (who we will call Jaymes to keep this simple) about "no homo" and he shows me THIS!!!

Movie Review: Legion


So, today I discovered that I like watching bad movies at the theater almost as much as I do good ones. I become just as animated about how bad it is as when it's good, maybe even more. Looking back at this movie I became pretty animated. Now, bear with me, I'm running on four hours of sleep and it's 1:28 AM so I'm a little sluggish and I have been having a hard time articulating thoughts today.

The movie is about god getting sick of "the bullshit" so he sends a "extermination" to kill off all humanity but one child can save everyone. Neat huh? I would say not at all. The archangel Micheal, played by Paul Bettany, comes down to earth to save humanity by ensuring that this baby is born. This is probably the flimsiest storyline I have ever heard. Lets just think about it for a second. God is divine. Wait... first I'm going to tell you that I'm no Jesus freak but I did go to catholic school my whole educational life. I would say I'm agnostic if anything and that these rant my opinions but the mythology that the writers are using for the movie. OK, so back to legion. God is divine so a choice by him to exterminate humanity wouldn't be stopped by a child. It just doesn't make sense. How is a child going to grow up to save humanity when heaven is on a different plain then earth and god created both of them. I get that "its just a movie" and I have to buy into something like that but logic should still be a part of writing.

As I watched I continually found myself asking "why?". Why the fuck are these characters doing the things they are doing? They all felt two dimensional. That the writers didn't think about what motivated people to say or do anything. They just had a story board that they needed to follow so they jimmy rigged some dialog and actions together to follow it. It was all very frustrating because I can imagine the story board being only four panels and the writers having the combined education of a twelve year old boy. It got progressively worse as the movie went on. Let me start with the tools god is using to kill off humanity in the film. First he has angels possess people of weak will, or something like that, suddenly turning the movie into some sort of zombie flick because these people seem to become mindless and reckless, not to mention demonic looking and evil. I sat there wondering why these "angels" aren't using tactics and weapons to attack Micheal and his motley crew of people that are held up in a diner. They would just run at the building, straight into bullets. Even without tactics and weapons their sheer numbers begin to overwhelm the people in the diner but then they stop. Micheal goes on to say that god just tested their strength and "now hes going to test out weakness". Why the fuck would he do that. If your going to bomb a county your not going to start by sending in unarmed soldiers to see if they can take it. You are going to bomb the shit out of it and hope nothing is alive afterward. After that, god sends actual angels and as if I wasn't boggled before by the idea of sending these possessed people, I was after seeing the archangel Gabriel kick the shit out of everyone. Early in the movie you see thousands of angels flying around, then just Gabriel kicks the crap out of everyone. Why not send all of them and do it right?

I have just come to the conclusion that I will be writing for a long time if I continue telling you about the flaws of this film. Just take my word for it that it is horrible but so much so that you will have lots to talk about afterward and, if youre like me, you will enjoy the conversation. This movie is getting 3.7 mindless, angel possessed, shark toothed persons out of 10.